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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968738">The Hand that Feeds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/novagrey/pseuds/novagrey'>novagrey</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last of Us</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:08:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968738</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/novagrey/pseuds/novagrey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It turns out you don't need the fucking Fireflies to take apart some kid's brain to make a cure when the cure is in her mouth and her teeth are cut on sacrifice. Canon divergence, written on the fly, I have no idea what I'm doing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joel &amp; Tess (The Last of Us), Joel/Tess (The Last of Us)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Luck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Oops, right?"</p><p>The breath left Joel's lungs all at once, a sharp exhale. <em>Damn it all to hell. </em></p><p>His smuggling partner strode to the child before them and grabbed her arm. "This was <em>three weeks! </em>I was bitten an hour ago and it's already worse. This is <em>fucking real, </em>Joel."</p><p>Ellie tugged her arm back as Tess let go, a strange mixture of emotion playing across her face that Joel didn't care to interpret.</p><p>"You've got to get this girl to Tommy's, he used to run with this crew, he'll know where to go."</p><p>A flame sprung within his chest and he stepped forward, shouting through gritted teeth now. "No, no, no, that was <em>your </em>crusade!" He jabbed a finger at the teenager standing to the side now. "I am <em>not</em> doing that!"</p><p>"Yes you are!" Tess despaired. "Look..." Her voice softened and she took a step closer. Joel took a step back instinctively but she was faster and closed the gap between them. Breathlessly, their eyes locked and she uttered, "There's enough here that you have to feel some sort of obligation to me. So you get her to Tommy's."</p><p>Before either could find it in them to speak again, they were interrupted by the sound of engines, tires crunching the asphalt outside.</p><p>"<em>Shit,"</em>Joel hissed as Tess immediately checked the window.</p><p>"They're here," she confirmed.</p><p>"Damn it!"</p><p>Tess spun to face him again, a wild look in her eyes. "I can buy you some time but you have to run."</p><p>Without hesitation Ellie protested. "What?! You want us to just leave you here?!"</p><p>Joel already knew what she was going to say. He cut her off before she could reply. "There is no way that-"</p><p>"I will <em>not</em> turn into one of those <em>things!"</em> she barked tersely.</p><p>"I won't let you." His reply was cold but firm. Standing his ground against Tess was something he'd done many times before. There had always been friction between them, they were both headstrong and that's what made them good at what they did. And despite having discussed this very scenario hundreds of times before, somehow this time he felt empty.</p><p>His partner faltered at this. A moment's pause. The sounds of shouts and footsteps grew louder. "You sure about that, Texas?"</p><p>"I won't," he repeated. He leveled his gun at her as if to prove his point, to prove he wasn't afraid. Was he? No. He'd done it before to others and he'd do it again without hesitation. But it stung nonetheless. "Let's go." He gestured his head to the nearest door.</p><p>Finally, as though both reassured and resigned, Tess moved forward, uncertain of how many days or hours she had left but secure in knowing Joel would handle it.</p><p>"Ellie," Joel nudged, indicating for her to follow.</p><p>The girl finally unwrapped her arms from her own body as the urgency of the surrounding soldiers became more pressing, but still she frowned. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this."</p><p>"Get a move on."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just the set-up, sorry it was weird. I wrote it in bed at like 4am so I wouldn't forget the idea. Hopefully the next chapters will be better since they'll be actually rewriting fully what happens from here on out. Next, to Bill's!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Uncertainty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The silence between the three of them was strung tightly. After dealing with the soldiers and heading out, none of them had spoken so much as a single word. They traversed a short stretch of abandoned subway tunnel, the three of them single-file, the echo of their footsteps the only noise.</p><p>Breath fogging his mask, Joel let out a slow exhale as he craned his neck to glance back at Tess and Ellie behind him. Keeping his breath measured was the only thing he could focus on for the moment, except -- "How the hell are you breathin' in this stuff?"</p><p>His words startled the teen, even though they were muffled the suddenness of them through the prolonged quiet was piercing. "I wasn't lying to you," she replied simply, a hand waving spores out of her line of sight absently. "I told you--"</p><p>"You did, and let's get this straight. You don't tell anyone else about your condition, you got that? They'll think you're crazy or they'll try to kill you." He wasn't looking at them anymore, his eyes focused back ahead of them as they trekked forward through the tunnels. At her lack of response though, he stopped and turned towards her, putting his arm out to prevent she and Tess from passing. "You hear me?"</p><p>"I guess." Ellie gave a noncommittal shrug, her eyes falling to the floor.</p><p>Joel took a step towards her, his eyes glaring daggers. He towered over her, Tess blocking her in from behind. "Let's try that again. You do what I say, when I say it. We clear?"</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"Repeat it."</p><p>Ellie scoffed, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms across her chest in defiance. She knew she wasn't getting out of this one. Finally, she threw her hands in the air in mock defeat. "What you say, goes."</p><p>"Good." He turned to the side, gesturing forward to let them through. "Tess." Finally raising his eyes to meet the other woman's, he sucked in a soft breath with a nod. "It's time we call in a few favors from Bill. Good chance he can get us a car."</p><p>A bittersweet smirk teased Tess's lips and she huffed slightly as she shook her head almost as though amused, though almost all of this was barely visible beneath her own mask which she wore out of habit. "Bill, sure. You making a bucket list of old friends for me to go see before my time's up? Yeah. Alright, Joel. Let's go see Bill."</p><p>Joel clenched his jaw and his throat tightened as Tess walked past him, her shoulder bumping into his aggressively. He adjusted the pack on his back as he turned to follow her, his grip on the straps acting as his grip on his temper. "Tess," he said, a warning tone to the name as it passed his teeth. "You know I wouldn't do that. You got other ideas?"</p><p>Through the dim sunlight streaking into the end of the tunnel, he could just make out the silhouette of Tess raising one hand above her head, back of her hand facing him with her middle finger proffered.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry these are so short, it's bc I always decide to write them at 4am and then I'm too tired to stay up and write the next part. So I fully intend for this to be fairly longish actually, you'll just get..... very short chapters but a lot of them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Ground Zero</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The whole damn town was trapped, like Bill was a desperate hunter making a last stand in the winter and the infected his prey. But that was to be expected, at least, according to Tess.</p><p>They'd lost the trail of the military and could afford to exchange a few words on occasion, but Joel found it hard to summon anything to say. Tess on the other hand stayed ahead with Ellie, making small talk, trying to ease the discomfort of them all knowing her days were numbered.</p><p>"Some would call him paranoid," she explained of Bill as Joel carefully disarmed a nail bomb attached to a trip-wire they'd just barely spotted. "But when you live alone in a town full of infected, being paranoid has its perks."</p><p>"I'd say so," Ellie replied coolly, her arms still crossed over her chest. Her hands clutched the bow now slung over her - Joel hadn't wanted to trust it to her when they came upon it but Tess was determined to let the girl learn to defend herself. The pose seemed withdrawn and it looked like the teenager was always on the verge of saying something important to Tess but always deciding against it at the last second.</p><p>"Frank keeps his head in check," Tess continued. "Drives him batshit crazy too. Too reckless. But what's life without a little thrill?"</p><p>Joel made a noise that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a grunt of disapproval.</p><p>Tess shot him a glare. "What, you don't agree? That's funny, coming from a smuggler."</p><p>"Big difference between smuggling supplies, and getting too close to infected just for the hell of it."</p><p>Joel pushed ahead of them, taking the lead as they entered into what appeared to be a large garage. But he didn't even have time to determine that. "Oh shit!" There was a snapping sound followed by a crash and the world spun around him. He hit the floor with his back, his head colliding with the pavement. A yanking on his foot drew him forward and then up into the air. As he tried to blink away the stars and reorient himself, he realized the door had been trapped.</p><p>"Joel!" he heard Ellie cry from behind him.</p><p>"Here, I got you." Tess was at his side, steadying him now.</p><p>"Goddammit, Bill."</p><p>"What just happened?!" Ellie, who had drawn her bow when startled by the sudden noise, put it away now.</p><p>"It's another one of Bill's stupid traps! There, that - what is that, a fridge? Looks like that's the counterweight." It was admittedly much harder to interpret the world upside-down and Joel's eyes strained, squinting out of habit like it would help him see more clearly. "Cut that rope and it'll bring me down."</p><p>"On it!" Ellie eagerly pulled out her knife, easily climbing the fridge and beginning to hack away at the rope.</p><p>"You alright?" Tess asked, looking down at him. Her face was hard with concern, but he couldn't read her expression.</p><p>"Head's killing me. Bill will be lucky if I don't kill him."</p><p>"Uh guys?" They were interrupted by Ellie's warning. Tess turned and Joel looked out past her. Infected were starting to climb the chain-link fence beyond the garage, dropping into the yard and stumbling forward.</p><p>"Shit, here they come!"</p><p>"Just tend to the rope, Ellie!"</p><p>Tess drew her gun and Joel raised one of his arms that had been hanging to unholster his own. He was fighting hard to keep his stomach contents in his stomach given his current position, and now this. Great. Tess must have had similar thoughts because she decided to give him a wide berth, moving far to the left to give him room to aim for infected on the right as she raised her gun and fired off a shot. A runner dropped to the ground.</p><p>Joel fired a few shots of his own. The recoil was minimal but enough to cause him to sway more where he was hanging. He hit an oncoming clicker once in the shoulder, the other shot firing wide. "Shit..." he muttered to himself. The blood rushing to his head caused a whooshing sound in his ears and he ground his teeth, trying to stop it.</p><p>The two adults took their turns downing infected, trying to keep them away from both Ellie and Joel. Despite the panic of the moment, it was oddly quiet except for the sound of gunfire and of the occasional clicker. "Ellie, how's it looking?"</p><p>"I'm going as fast as I can!"</p><p>He knew she was, but it still couldn't come fast enough. A few moments later, he called out again. "Ellie!"</p><p>"I just need a bit more time!"</p><p>A bit more time passed. "Anytime, Ellie!"</p><p>"Hold on!"</p><p>"Lay off, her, Joel," Tess barked, putting another bullet between the reddened eyes of a runner. "We've got this."</p><p>There was a groaning noise as the fridge tipped onto its side, dragging Joel further into the air, another shot flying far past his target. "You alright?"</p><p>"Yeah!"</p><p>Tess was at her side now, hauling her weight on the rope to give her some slack to work with as the girl sawed at it, raising Joel just that much higher.</p><p>A runner confronted the women on the ground. Joel reloaded, somehow more difficult when hanging from his feet, his rough hands guiding him better than his pulsating vision. He steadied his grip as he aimed, felling it with a shot to the throat.</p><p>Finally with a snap, both Tess and Ellie released the rope.</p><p>A searing pain drove through him as his head and shoulders once again hit the ground first, his vision flashing white. An all-too-familiar screech alerted him before he could properly see again and he knew he was about to have to fight for his life.</p><p>Or so he thought.</p><p>"Joel!" He heard Ellie and Tess at the same time somewhere in the distance. "Watch out!"</p><p>But a second later, as his eyes were focusing, a sickening squelch came from above him and he felt a warm liquid spray across him.</p><p>"Get off your ass and on your feet!" a third, harsh voice commanded. The head of the infected above him slid cleanly from its shoulders, separated by Bill's machete.</p><p>Bill extended his free hand out, and Joel didn't hesitate to take it, accepting the help to haul him to his feet.</p><p>The four of them made a beeline for the open garage door, winding through the short maze of trucks parked haphazardly outside. Joel felt sick as the blood from his head flushed back to the rest of his body but the adrenaline kept his feet moving. He was the first to the locked door.</p><p>"Where's that goddamn key?!" Bill fumbled with the key ring he held in front of him now. It had to have at least twenty keys on it.</p><p>"Uh, guys, behind us!" Ellie cautioned.</p><p>"Stay back, Ellie." Taking a protective step in front of her, Tess shielded the teenager as they eyed the oncoming horde nervously.</p><p>"Bill, come on!" Joel snarled.</p><p>Finally their guide found the right key, just in time. They dashed through the empty laundromat, Bill warning them it wasn't secure.</p><p>Eventually, the heavy door of the bar thudded shut behind them, locked and barred six ways from Sunday. Though infected could be heard on the other side, this place, they knew, was safe.</p><p>Before they could even have a moment to breathe, Bill turned and raised a gun to Joel's head.</p><p>"Joel!" Ellie yelped, stepping forward. Tess caught her around the shoulders, restraining the fighting girl while simultaneously shouting "Bill, what the fuck?"</p><p>"Turn around and get on your knees."</p><p>"Just calm down a second," Joel replied, his voice low but steady.</p><p>"Turn around and get on your knees!"</p><p>"Alright!" He did as commanded, facing his smuggling partner and their cargo.</p><p>"Don't test me!" Bill barked, jabbing Joel with a knee.</p><p>"Just... ah, take it easy." He grimaced as Bill harshly slapped at his shoulders and back, patting him down.</p><p>"You got any bites?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Anything sprouting?"</p><p>"No, goddammit, I'm clean!" He just prayed Bill wouldn't check Tess.</p><p>"Well, I see so much as a twitch-"</p><p>"Ow!" The exclamation came from Tess. She'd had one arm wrapped around Ellie, holding the girl back. Now, she released her, because Ellie had gone and bitten her.</p><p>Ellie used this opportunity to launch forward and shove Bill away from Joel. The unexpected action caused him to topple, knocking him into the bar counter harshly.</p><p>In that moment it was all Joel could do to not stand up and shout at her. He exchanged a knowing glance with Tess - at least she was already infected, so Ellie couldn't possibly make that worse. Instead, he just said, "Stop."</p><p>"Son of a bitch!" Bill complained.</p><p>"You done?"</p><p>"Am I done? You come into my house, you set off all my traps, you damn near break my shooting arm. Who the fuck is this punk and what's she doing here?"</p><p>"I am none of your goddamn business--"</p><p>"HEY!" Tess's voice rang loud enough to wake the dead and everyone else fell silent. "That's enough, all of you. Bill, we're sorry. But I need a favor. We need a car."</p><p>The balding man let out a gruff laugh. "Well ain't that nice? Tess needs a car." Still, he softened. "I don't have one."</p><p>"But you can help us get one working, right? Where's Frank?"</p><p>Bill grew quiet for a few moments and both Ellie and Joel got the sense they were missing something. "I dunno. Who the fuck cares, no one needed his sorry ass anyway," he finally grumbled. "I can help you get one working. I need until morning. Scrounging in the dark around here is one sure way to get yourself killed."</p><p>Before Joel could object, Tess has already answered. "That's fine, as long as we can stay the night. Thanks."</p><p>"Yeah... Of course."</p><p>But both Joel and Ellie knew Tess didn't have until the morning.</p><p>Bill showed them upstairs to the church to two small rooms they could sleep in, and then left them to their own concerns.</p><p>As soon as he was out of earshot, Joel grabbed Ellie by the shoulders. "What the hell was that little stunt you pulled back there?" he hissed.</p><p>"What?!" </p><p>"Joel, let her go. It's not like I can get infected twice," Tess said with almost a sigh.</p><p>He ignored her. "You can't go around biting, kid, did you forget that you're infected too? You're gonna get us all killed."</p><p>"I knew it wasn't going to infect Tess, it's not like I bit you or something," Ellie retorted.</p><p>"Don't get in the habit!" He let her go. "You're sleeping in the other room. Go on. Can't have you in here when..." He trailed off, and Tess looked at her feet.</p><p>"But--"</p><p>"No buts, go!"</p><p>Ellie groaned in protest. She looked from Joel to Tess, then gripped the older woman in a tight hug. "I'm sorry." Finally, she dragged her feet on her way out.</p><p>Joel let out a long hiss of air, like he'd been holding his breath for an hour. "Try to get some sleep," he suggested to Tess. "I'll take the night watch for... Well." He shrugged.</p><p>"Yeah." Tess took a deep breath. She looked up at him, their eyes meeting for a moment. Closing the gap she pressed a chaste kiss to his rough lips. "Thanks." And with that, she retreated to the far corner of the room, her back turned to him, and tried to sleep.</p><p>His eyes didn't leave her for hours, one hand perched on his revolver holster. Still, she was silent. Her sleep peaceful. Her breathing even.</p><p>And in the early hours of the morning it was Joel who drifted off.</p><p>But, he was not a heavy sleeper. A small voice awoke him only a few hours later. "Holy shit..."</p><p>He jolted awake and looked around wildly. And across the room he spotted her. Tess, standing in front of a cracked mirror. Her shirt was off, revealing her bare skin. And her hands were marveling over the strange bite marks from the day before - one on her shoulder, one on her arm, neither as raw as they had been originally.</p><p>Tess had not turned.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Excited for TLOU2? Me too! I'm gonna be streaming it tomorrow night and can't wait!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. New Meaning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You're shittin' me," Joel breathed, voice barely audible. The two made eye contact in the vanity mirror and Tess spun around to face him, shaking hands raising in the air instinctively.</p>
<p>"I'm still me," she said quickly, as though it weren't already obvious. Still, the look of bewilderment on her face made it seem like she didn't entirely believe it herself.</p>
<p>As she took a step toward him, Joel's hand automatically unholstered his revolver and he took a step back, though he didn't raise it.</p>
<p>"Easy, Texas." Tess froze where she stood, stopping her advance. She raised her forearm to face him. "Look. It's... unbelievable."</p>
<p>The older man tentatively took a step forward and examined her arm more closely. Those marks were almost gone already. He put his gun back in its holster, grabbing her arm with both of his rough hands and pulling her a step closer. Looking up to inspect the wound in the crook of her neck, he exhaled sharply. "How?" It was significantly less red and had stopped oozing.</p>
<p>"It's her," Tess whispered. It was clear she meant Ellie, who still slept in the room next door. "She fucking <i>cured</i> me, Joel."</p>
<p>And it was those words that suddenly cut the tension between them like a guitar string that had snapped. The threat of losing one another had finally come far too close. They both moved at the same time, closing the distance, mouths meeting in a clash of lips and hot breath.</p>
<p>Tess pulled Joel back against the vanity and he gave a grunt when they bumped into it, one of his knees pressing tightly between her jean-clad thighs. His kisses moved over her cheek and down the unbitten side of her neck, his facial hair irritating her skin in a way she relished. She gripped one of his wrists, tugging his hand up to cup her bare breast.</p>
<p>"<i>Fuck</i> me," Tess groaned, not a request but an exclamation of pleasure.</p>
<p>Even recognizing that, Joel shot back, "Simmer down, woman, I'm getting to it. Enjoy the ride." Her bark-like laugh only encouraged him, deftly undoing the button on her jeans to slip a hand inside. He cupped her heat, hand pressed tightly, rough palm brushing tantalizingly over her clit.</p>
<p>There was a creaking at the door and Tess shoved Joel away. Joel spun on his heel, Tess immediately bending over to scoop up her shirt and cover herself as the door swung open.</p>
<p>"Tess? What the <i>fuck</i>, you guys?" Ellie had been rubbing sleep from her eyes but now was clearly alert, wide-eyed and inquisitive. "I thought--"</p>
<p>"Yeah so did we," Joel grunted in interruption, attempting to discreetly wipe his hand on his jeans then stroking his mustache where he was sure it was wild from kissing. "That little stunt you pulled yesterday seems to be the answer the Fireflies are looking for."</p>
<p>The silence that settled in the air was uncomfortable. Ellie's expression went from alarmed to confused, and then to strangely empty, her eyes glassy. "Oh." She took a deep breath, like she was considering what to say. "Just, to check I mean, do you mean when I bit her?" she asked quickly, as though it were absurd. And in fairness, it sounded absurd.</p>
<p>"Seems so," Tess replied softly, pulling her shirt over her head with her back turned.</p>
<p>"Oh."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry for the wait on this chapter! i got sucked into playing TLOU2, then i got depressed, then i got a job, then i lost the job, and then i accidentally deleted the new chapter like 3 times as i was working on it FML. i hope it being mildly spicy makes up for the wait. sorry it's short, i hope this is the last of the (very) short chapters, i wanted to get this bit out of the way but thought the ending bit was important enough to standalone.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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